Novel that I wrote in 30 days - During Novel writing month. It's more like a long story but, without further ado.
Shards Of Broken Memmories.
I would like to credit Jack from the Philippines, Josh Griffen, and Tyler, and Kurtis Derby for their stories of pranks.
A young man is sitting at small silver table, in a dimly lit, stark white room with no windows. His face is painted with careworn wrinkles unbecoming of a younger man, and yet there they sit on the top of his brow. The strong, stale smell of smoke fills the room, as the ashes from his neglected cigarette burn into a dark pile in the glass ashtray on the table. He is in excruciating mental agony as he drums his finger on the table. Feelings of depression, agony, sorrow, regret and anger fill his mind in a dusty tornado. Yet this room is his dwelling space, he has come to love it, spent many hours here, sitting in the stiff metal chair. He has become accustomed to the room. He rubs at the back of is neck and scratches the course stubble he has accumulated over the last three days. He smells and his face is hot, the dark stubble itchy with sweat. He is not accustomed to the stuff, never was. Usually keeps a clean shave, after wash and such. He really wants a shave, but, debates getting up. As he looks at the smoky trail the ember of the cigarette emits, he is lulled into past memories, and settles in. Playing mental chess with himself, back and forth, and sideways. He feels guilty, remorseful, thinking back upon his past. What could he have done better? What drove him to that level of intensity? That anger that spiraled out of control, that he out leashed on her. That level of intensity, his insecurity, his strong lack of trust in her, their relationship. He wanted to go on; he wanted to explain, to make her understand that she was not the cause of his pain. That he was his own pain, his downfall, his dagger. He was his own demise. He brought himself down in his own way, yet another part of him felt that she was to blame. When she broke up with him, he lost everything, her, the kids, the life they had together, and his life. Why, even his house had been taken away from him. He had tried everything to win her back, to piece back their life together.
He called, text, and loved her still with a fire, that never turned blue. He looks back at the pleasurable times that now stab at his heart. The time they cuddled, that day at the beach, her smile, her laugh, that way she coyly looked up at him and blushed. He can still feel that shock of electricity, almost as if she were sitting in the same room. He looks down at the hair on his arm, they are sticking straight up. He looks around for a moment and is swept back, into his ocean of emotion or hell depending on how you look at it.
He loved her with a passion. He can’t stop blaming himself; he tries to shake it off, but fails miserably. Kristina, I miss you, I miss us. I want this to work, I want to be together, I don’t want to lose you. He remembers saying that day in their room/foray. She blatantly slammed the door in his face, slamming the door of communication in his face, her lack of compassion evident. It was obvious she no longer wanted him, or this.
In the midst of one emotion he is suddenly transferred to another as he sees a bright blinding light that quickly turned into a dark blur and then light blue light slowly fading, leaving him in a familiar place. He found himself surrounded by snow, the ever familiar smell of crisp pine trees and the comforting feel of a cold breeze as it chills his skin. It blows against the tiny hairs on his arm, causing his hair to stand straight up and leading a trail of goose bumps down his arm. He hears the sound of laughter as he looks back to see a young woman wearing a purple ski cap and black gloves stumble down the hill on her snowboard and then slide down the mountain on her butt. He runs to catch her and stalls the snowboard. He looks up only to see Kristine, her soft smile emerges as she laughs heartily. Her blue eyes sparkle and her cheeks shine rosy with glee. “Hello?” “Hellloooo?” she says. He looks at her directly in her passionate eyes “Oh sorry, are you ok.” He replied.
She smiles a coy smile ask she looks up at him, “You from around here?”
He mirrors her gaze and smile before replying. “Yea, I’m a ski instructor for the kiddies in ski school. You? I mean do you live around here?”
“Yes,’ she says laughing “actually, I’m in the process of moving here. Couple of my girlfriends live here and I figured it’s high time I joined them.” She couldn’t have been more then 18, he thought, looking at her. Yet, she was so pretty, so stunningly radiant, so confidant, yet sweet. He shivered as he hugged his traditional blue ski instructor’s jacket. “Ahh, yes, I remember this he thought to himself, the smell of pine, fresh powder from last night’s snow, the smell of the beginning of a new season, excitement, beauty, the crisp air at high elevation.” It was so refreshing to know that he was back in his own environment, his passion, the only place that could make him truly happy. He thought to himself as he watched a snowboarder speed up down the mountain and do a back flip off the jump. He smiled to himself, “yea, this is heaven” he thought as he turned his attention back to the girl “well, why don’t I show you around?’ he said to the pretty snowboarder, “Mammoth can be awfully big if you don’t know your way around. ;) “
“Well, I have been here before, you know. I’m not oblivious.” She said.
He laughed, “I believe you, but, you know’, he said as he looked up at her, “you can never get sick of seeing Mammoth, never see all of it no matter how many times you circle through. Alright, how about going on a sight seeing ski around the mountain with me?”
“Depends ‘what’s your name?” she said “Brad” he replied.
She considered it for a moment and then said “I’ll think about it.” As she applied chap stick to her small, delicate lips. “Tommorow then? 6 Am? He said. “I’ll meet you at Goldrush Chair Express 10. You up for it?” Oh, and I never caught your name, what was it?”
Without saying anything she gave him a wink and then skied off.
With a sigh, Brad skied off towards the main lodge, unstrapped himself from his red and white skis and prepared to head home as he walked towards the winter buses to his cheap yet cozy ski instructor lodging. It wasn't glamorous, but, on his salary, it was all he could afford. He had a comfortable little side of the 4 person suite. He loved his roommates who went out with him at night and got together at the local pub. He loved that Danny was such a ladies man, but seeming to always be the intelligent man with no one. He loved the way TJ was always accident prone, always coming home with a new injury or cast covered limb. He loved the off the wall antics that James had, the way they were a spontaneous and odd group of guys and by the grace of God they were housed in the same lodging. They talked about girls, blood and violence. They'd been there and done it all. From titty twisters, duck taping a guy to the floor, getting beaten by pillows after coming out of the bathroom, getting locked out on the balcony in just boxers, even selling a guy for money when he was only wrapped in a towel. They once threw TJ out of their van, naked on Mulholland Street in the winter. It was 40 degrees and it was cold. He had to run home, it was hysterical, But, TJ only thanked God that there was no one around. They had all learned not to get into arguments while at a public place and you never want to piss off the driver because you may be left there, like TJ was that one time at Jack in the Box. And heaven knows they learned the meaning of pain, upon moving in together, they’d pressed each others buttons, got into a brawl, and ended up with so many injuries that the next morning they ended up in the infirmary, with beds positioned right next to each other. They were in so much pain that they couldn’t beat each other any more. All they could do was squint their eyes and give each other dirty looks. Needless to say, in the time they have gotten to know each other, they have each gotten accustomed to knowing each other’s strengths and weaknesses
One night they had all gone snowboarding and ended up getting so lost that they got stuck on the other side of the mountain after the lifts had stop running for the day. They had to walk with their snowboards all the way back to the other side of the mountain and main lodge and were lucky enough to catch the last bus back to their lodging 30 seconds before it departed. Another time Brad had to enter a ski competition, it required him to ski the double black diamond. He had just moved to Mammoth, been there two days, and lost a bet to his new roommates. So he had to do it, and he was afraid of heights. His friends watched him as he almost succumbed to fear and balling up like a baby on the icy, steep mountain. He ended up getting a broken arm and scratches from the many pine trees that he slid thorough trying to get down the mountain as fast and safely as possible. He came in second to last; the other guy got lost and took the wrong route down, so the other guy was automatically disqualified. After that, Brad learned to overcame his fear of heights, learned the routes and avoided double black diamond unless he absolutely needed to, in case a bet like that came up again. What they loved most was throwing parties at their little apartment, specifically because it was winter.
They had an amazing view of Mammoth from their balcony. The balcony was small, but they loved it just the same. They would string up lights and spend time out there just relaxing, listening to music and enjoying the crisp night air. In fact it was so nice and quaint that James even proposed to his girlfriend on that balcony years later. That's where he took Kristina after their ski around the mountain, that was the moment he knew he wanted to be with her. He had many flashbacks at which most consisted in mammoth because he had a lot of history there. Especially with her.
He flashes back to that day at 5 in the morning, he woke up early, brushed his teeth, combed his hair, and got into the standard snow equipment, which he believed started from the first article of clothing. He put on black boxers, then his black long johns, pants first, then shirt. Then he stepped into the best part of a ski instructor’s outfit, besides the jacket, his black, glossy, and comfortable ski pants J. “Man I love getting dressed for success!” He thought with a smile as felt the loose, crisp pants at his waist, stopping in the middle of his clothes piling, to turn on the radio and walked into the kitchen. As he listened to the daily snow report “Good Morning fellow skiers and snowboarders, it is 40 degrees out there today, Mammoth currently has about 34 inches of snow. The weather is chilly and low, but, the skiing is prime, so bundle up on this nice Mammoth day.”The cheery young voice of another fellow brother in snow said. He poured a cup of oats into a red bowl he grabbed from the cabinet, boiled water in a pot on the stove, and poured the water on top of the oats in the red bowl. Adding brown sugar and cinnamon on top as Brain Stew by Blink 182 came on the radio. . . Yeah! He said as he kinda swayed while eating his bowl of oatmeal and walking around his apartment with bowl in hand. He looked at his watch, it was 5:15, he walked to the couch and plopped down, with a large bite of steamy oatmeal in his mouth. His eyes trailed down his ski pants to his cozy white socks, no wonder I was feelin a little off, he thought haha.. can’t have ski pants without the boots. He polished off his oatmeal, walked over to the sink, rinsed the bowl out and placed it back in the silver sink. Then strode to the bathroom, where he quickly shaved with his silver and black electric razor, brushed his teeth with the fresh peppermint taste of Crest. Washed his face with Irish soap, to get the cleanest he could as well as smelling great. Put on a red and white shirt, then his blue ski instructor jacket, before grabbing his name badge, skis and equipment. For his final layer, he put on his black and red beanie, and silver reflective goggles. He took a final look in the mirror, adjusted the goggles that were on his head, made sure he had everything and then headed to his white jeep. Piled the stuff in the back and headed to the slopes.. fast.
Brad checked his watch, it was 5:57, he hoped he would get there in time and he hoped she would be there. “Wow, it really is unusually chilly” he thought to himself as pulled into the parking lot. At least there was almost no one here, a secret of the slopes is, the ski reports tell everyone, meaning guests and those who aren’t aware of the secret that the lifts open at 10, when in fact the lifts really open at 6 in the morning. Those hours before it “opens” the instructors use this time to their advantage, enjoying runs to themselves, the peace and tranquility, scope and map out new routes for their students and gage the coming obstacles they will have to face throughout the day. As Brad sat in the parking lot, excited, he looked around for Kristina, and not seeing her, he got out and pulled his skis and ski poles out of the backseat of the car. He wasn’t sure if she would come or not and which was making him a little nervous, after all he didn’t think that she was necessarily the girl of his dreams but, he hadn’t seen a girl so beautiful, in quite some time. He couldn’t help but wonder about that girl he saw the previous day. As he lugged the heavy stuff out of the car, he turned around to begin walking to the slopes and low and behold had a very happy surprise. Kristina was standing there with a smile.
“Having a hard time there? She said with a wink. She was wearing white, a stark contrast to his black and red. She had on a white jacket with light brown and black fur around the hood, sleek white pants, and white snow boots with little furry white tassels balls. “You came! He said “Well that’s a pleasant surprise! I was about to think you weren’t going to come.” He said with a smirk “So, your going to take me on a tour from a native’s perspective huh?” she said “I just might” Brad said with a coy smile. They both played a cat and mouse game, never letting on to what they might show each other, the feelings they each held onto tightly, that if displayed might not be reciprocated. They were equally hesitant, but, made a game of it as well. Each hoping that he was not alone, for they seemed to have a lot of chemistry and were hopeful for the chance to get to know each other.
The day looked promising, the strong smell of pine trees was in the air, a fresh snow on the slopes from the snow machine grooming the night before. There was a calmness in the air, and it wasn’t that chilly considering they had a couple days that chilled their bones it was so cold. They walked in silence together until they reached the snow. Climbing up off the pavement, the sound of their snow boots crunched packed snow. It sounded like crunching up a potato chip bag as they walked. Crunch, crunch, crunch packed snow. They walked a little farther, then Kristina plunked her stuff down, and plopped down in the snow. “This seems like a good spot.” she said, looking up at him. “Well, no arguments here,” he responded as he sat down with a thud and they began setting up their gear. They were quite a pair, a sight to see, him in his red and white skis, Kristina in her purple and black skis. They did some necessary skiing on flat ground until they saw the lift they had planned on going on. Gold Rush lift 10. There was only a few people and they were able to get on the lift quickly. They were silent as they waited for the lift to come behind them, then they sat down in unison. It seemed a little awkward for a few minutes until Kristina broke the silence………………..
She whispered softly in his ear, “I think I could grow to love you.” He looked up, he was getting off the lift and she was not there. He looked around “Kristina?” he called out… “Kristina?” there was no one there. He was on an empty mountain and it was if she had just been an illusion. The world around him started changing, started spinning, he felt dizzy. He fell to the snow and the world faded to black, he no longer felt anything just peace.
The world came back to focus, the white walls of the shadowy room burning holes in the memories that kept surfacing. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath as silence engulfed him, then he slowly let it out. It was quiet, calm; it was eerie as he suddenly felt a sense of peace. He felt a sense of tranquility, collected, serene, at ease. He hunched over the table as he wrote on the single white paper in front of him.
Nighttime sharpens, heightens each sensation.Darkness stirs and wakes imagination.Silently the senses abandon their defensesSlowly, gently, night unfurls its splendor.Grasp it, sense it tremulous and tender.Turn your face away from the garish light of day,Turn your thoughts away from cold, unfeeling light -and listen to the music of the night...Close your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams!Purge your thoughts of the life you knew before!Close your eyes, let your spirit start to soar!And you'll live as you've never lived beforeSoftly, deftly, music shall caress you Hear it, feel it, secretly possess you Open up your mind, let your fantasies unwind,in this darkness that you know you cannot fightthe darkness of the music of the night.
Let your mind start a journeythrough a strange, new world!Leave all thoughts of the life you knew before!Let your soul take you where you long to be!Only then can you belong to meFloating, falling, sweet intoxication!Touch me, trust me, savour each sensation!Let the dream begin, let your darker side give inTo the power of the music that I writeThe power of the music of the night
The lyrics, he remembered these were lyrics… to what though? What was it? There was a vague familiarity with this. He struggled as he felt a pain in his temple, so strong, he pressed his hands to his head as he saw a bright, red light, his head throbbed. He started hearing the song in his head as the lyrics became blatantly apparent. The lyrics played louder! And over and over again. Then started he started shaking violently, as he saw the red flash in his mind, he suddenly realized… He realized why he recognized the lyrics.
He didn’t know what time it was or where he was but, he heard a woman’s voice, it was light and airily, full of joy and she laughed a little bit. “Hahaha… Brad? Brad...Come on, brad... She goaded him in a teasing voice, where are you?” It was Kristina, he realized, and they were on their honeymoon in Bora Bora. As he opened his eyes to see the colorful room, the one where he and Kristina stayed in wedded bliss. The balcony overlooked the beautiful trees and beach below. It had a jungle feel to it as he heard birds outside. He looked over to see Kristina in a pink bathrobe."Honey?" she said. “There you are! I was looking for you!” She said as she wrapped her arms around him from behind and kissed his neck. He looked around him for a second; he was standing on the balcony and looked back at her. Each time he remembered, she grew more beautiful each time, it hurt, but he began to pretend that this was his reality. That he never lost her, so he began to soak it up, enjoy the moment and unfortunately become attached. After all, she was his all, and he was trying with all his might to hold onto her any way he could. He dove into his own memories with full force; he was going to keep her no matter what, even if he was the only one reminiscing. “Yes, Kristina,” he said as he turned around. “My God” he thought. She looked incredible with her rosy cheeks, pale skin, and playful attitude. He couldn’t stop staring. He reached out to touch her cheek. He caressed her cheek lightly with the back of his hand as she tilted her head towards him, with a smile. Her long hair was wavy, giving her a wild streak or feeling towards her. She looked like a goddess and for once in his life, he was tongue tied. Her lips were crimson, the color of a raspberry. She looked at him with a sly coyness, a subtlety of beauty, and she smelled like passion fruit. He was awestruck, but, noticed her lips moving and fortunately managed to come out of his stupor long enough to hear what she was saying to him “What would you like to do today Mr. Davidson?” she said. “Let’s go kayaking” he said. So that’s what they decided to do. Brad met her downstairs at the concierge of their hotel, at the brown desk with flowers and a painting of a girl with a sun hat on the back wall. Kristina came down the black, iron staircase. He heard the clacking of her sandals as she walked down each of the cheery looking orange tiles with blue and green diamond shapes in the middle. Kristina came down wearing khaki shorts, a white shirt, and a brown cap, with the bill tucked slightly so you couldn’t quite see her eyes. They started towards the door walking hand in hand as they began to walk out onto the circular drive where it was nice and cool due to the cream colored awning above them. The 3 valets in red vests and white shirts were standing waiting patiently for someone to help, while three more of them stood in a circle smoking on their breaks. But, as soon as Brad and Kristina walked out of the building they were no longer in Bora Bora like Brad had expected. Instead, they were standing on the cold streets of New York, where it was apparent that a fresh snow had just fallen and there was a light snow fall coming down. Instead of her khaki shorts, white shirt and hat, Kristina was now wearing a black winter coat , green netting hat that showed her pretty hair that fell neatly to the side as the hat was centered perfectly on the crown of her head.
They were holding hands; Brad looked at her, as he always did, with his protective manner and strong love for her. She had black, smoky eyes, that made her look sultry and intelligent, classy, he thought as he bent his head down to kiss her small, shapely lips. True, he wondered why they were in New York, but, her beauty was the only thing that stopped him in his tracks. Her stunning radiance was in the for front of his mind, she was the only thing that could always take over his mind, make him succumb to her in his head. Her lips were so soft, as he barley graced them. They felt like silk. Kristina yielded to his touch, she leaned in and lightly placed her arms around his neck, kissing him back with the tenderness of touches, her lips were warm, small. She kissed him with slow passion as they took their time, neither of then wanting this moment to end. Brad embraced her as he hugged her tighter, “I love you” Kristina whispered in his ear, “I love you too” Brad replied as he slowly pulled away and took hold of her hand. They started walking East down Gossamer Street, towards Freddy J’s Fine Dining Restaurant. “Come on hon. we don’t want to be late.” Kristina said as she started walking quicker then him. “Hey wait for me!” as he ran faster to catch up to her. He caught up to her and wrapped his arms around her from behind, laughing hard, they both toppled together from the force of Brad running up to her that they fell into a pile of snow.
OUTLINE OF WHAT YOU LOST:
They toppled down together as they laughed, Brad laughed harder than he’d ever laughed before. He wanted to enjoy the precious time he had with her. Across the street was Judley’s Park, he doubted that many people had been there in the past few months. There was a fresh snow on the ground that covered the once normally, lush green grass. “We shall forge a path through the park, through endless arrays of sunshine.” He said “Come on hon. let’s take a shortcut to Freddy’s through the park” so, they walked through the park, his hell all his own. He’d been here before, his Déjà vu spinning in his head. He remembered this, and dreaded what was to come. He remembered this; he remembered his happiness that he’d had on this particular night. His mindset, a constant frown as he dreaded this, he dreaded reliving the happiness that he knew he would never have again. The time he spent with her that made him light up, that he would never have a chance to go back, the immense level of comfort he had around her.
Because that’s the worst kind, the pain in his detachment outweighed the good, outweighed all the memories. His guilt overwhelmed him, as his frown, unappealing, showed ever clearer on his down trodden body language. Kristina looked oblivious to his sorrow, but who could blame her, it was a reoccurring memory which no longer was reality. He took a deep breath and a smile spread on his face as they walked in to Freddy’s. He heard the familiar lyrics of a song he recognized from so long ago. “I love this song!” Kristina said softly under her breath as she tilted her head down a little blushing slightly. He looked down at her, lowered his head preparing to kiss her soft crimson lips. She had such a gentle, kind demeanor, with her shaply rosy cheeks, her subtle femininity and sensitivity to detail. She looked so genuine, innocent, sweet. He kissed her, “mm he thought, I’m kissing an angel” He closed his eyes, "sweet serenity" he thought to himself as he opened his eyes. She looked back at him, She then asked him, asking him if he would dance with her. The song played as he looked into her eyes as time seemed to hold still, if only for a moment. He wrapped his arms around, her, held her close as he sang in her ear. "Softly, deftly, music shall caress you Hear it, feel it, secretly possess you Open up your mind, Let your fantasies unwind In this darkness which you know you cannot fight The darkness of the music of the night" The lyrics filled the stillness in the air, Let your mind start a journey through a strange, new world Leave all thoughts of the life you knew before Let your soul take you where you long to be! Only then can you belong to me Floating, falling, sweet intoxication Touch me, trust me, savor each sensation Let the dream begin, let your darker side give in To the power of the music that I write The power of the music of the night.” She laid her head on his shoulder as the moved closer and swayed to the music. "Let's stay like this forever, shall we." he said "mm, yes, lets." she said as she closed her eyes, oblivious to everything around her except for him and their moment together. "You alone can make my song take flight Help me make the music of the night" Let's make this our song, and we shall ."Word cannot describe your beauty, your soul an endless orchard, baring endless arrays and assortments of fruit, colorful, and tasteful, like your moods and expressions, you passion, your love." "Your thoughts often seem endless, a mystery I dare not dive into lest I know the depth, at which yours is endless. A constant reminder of your endless complexity. A quality I so love about you. A mystery which shows much more then intelligence, it shows the class of an elite observer of people, their standards, their world, and their innermost feelings awkwardly displayed outside their own depth using simple hand gestures, phrases and faces. You easily understand them all. You and I, we are the same, we love to be loved. You and I we're one and the same. She was silent, speechless, as a tear fell down her cheek, her crimson lips seemed a little chapped. He wiped it away with his thumb, His silver watch flickered as the light from the street lamps reflected off of it. Giving the appearance of a colorful vortex that streamed across the street and along the traditionally bland, dark park bench. She suddenly collapsed onto him, with tears in her eyes, unable to hold back any longer, she rested her head on his chest, getting his dark green, long sleeve dress shirt wet with tears in the process. The front of his shirt became slightly stained with black mascara in eyelash forms along the front of his shirt as a tear fell into his open shirt pocket. “Brad...” She said "Marry me...” sounding muffled "We belong together , like a heavy southern storm. You and I are the thunder and lighting across the sky in a turmoulous storm. Our love is like the rain that falls in gallant amounts on the streets and that collects on grass, that falls and tumbles though trees, the wind that rustles the leaves and knocks tree branches against windows. We are strong, but only in the right conditions, we can be weak but we overcome. We have a passion, a force, a drive towards our aspirations and each other. And... we are one and the same" she said as she looked back at him, through what seemed like soul reflective lenses. She knew him inside and out, and he knew her emotions, her strengths and her passions." They observed each other, neither of them saying anything, deep in thought, considering their actions and remarks. "Yes," he said "I will." he suddenly felt a sharp throbbing in his temple. The world around him turned ice cold. and with a jolt, he was back in that room, again. His dwelling space, his prison outside of his mental agony. He felt he had nowhere to go as he knew that he couldn't go anywhere and he could try, but he could never run from himself. Himself being the deeply affected, memory drudging, guilt sewn, sensitive, passionate romantic, and past dweller that he was. A prisoner held in excruciating agony, in a twilight zone episode from hell, in caverns of his brain that couldn't hardly be mined, many small crevices that held exquisite details plagued him, because try as he might, they would not go away. No matter what he did, or thought, it never faded away. The scenery, the actions, the life, the love, the room he was in. His thinking upon coming in here was simply”Oh, I'll be out soon" he thought "no worries" "I'm semi so, never healed, but, bandages mask the pain." He was in a drunken state of mind. His mind was feeling, almost intoxicated. There was rain, a constant thunderstorm that would never let up no matter how hard he tried. He tried to find shelter from his travels in his head, his surreal life of memories. But, to no avail. He closed his eyes and opened them, nothing. He blinked twice expecting to be in an exotic or foreign environment or with Kristina. Still nothing. He looked around him in disbelief, astonished that he was still in the same room. With the dim lighting, the metal table and chair, the dark blue and white walls, the stark white ceiling. Although, it wasn't entertaining, he was just glad that he wasn't anywhere near Kristina, here or otherwise. He felt so tired, but he couldn't sleep. He put his head in his hands, placing his elbows on the table as he leaned forward. he rubbed his eyes, as his hands came to rest upon his stress, showing forehead. He had nothing left in him, he was a distraught and weaker man. Kristina ruined his life in every way, and he missed her. "Kristina," he said to know the empty room, "Why couldn't we get along, for the sake of the kids at least, for the love that we had, the lifestyle we had. It was always the details that bothered him, the little things. Like the way she would come home late at night, or the way she gradually stopped hugging him goodnight, or looking at him with those eyes of hers that had so much depth, so much character. She become so much more involved with her work as the years went on, started spending more time at her office and coming home with paperwork. The most suspicious thing to him was the fact that she stopped looking him in the eye, a notorious sign of betrayal or nervousness. But, no one needs shy away from the eye unless thou hast something to hide. At which Brad began to suspect. Though throughout his suspicion, Brad never did anything. Never hired a private detective like most men do, never trailed her, and gave her plenty of space. But in the end it meant nothing to her, his respect over his distrust, it was his distrust that played a major part in their downfall. He came home one day from work to find Kristina in red lingerie, a nice, yet unusual sight for Brad to say considering that he'd known Kristina to shy away from that sort of thing. So, he questioned her. Why did you? What did you? He could barley make out the words to question her, much less accuse her of anything. Rather, he searched the house, walked the rooms, he came to the last room he'd been dreading, He heaved and pushed opened the double white doors of their elaborate master bedroom. Only to see red rose petals strewn everywhere, the white duvet cover of their bed neatly turned down, the lights dimmed down low, and an empty house, save for him and Kristina. He was dumbfounded. he turned around and she was standing in the doorway. "You are quite judgmental," she said with a smirk. "After being married for five years, don't you know me by now? You look to be a mix between awestruck and horror struck." He just stared at her, eyes wide with suspicion. A glassy stare bore her down as she challenged him with her eyes, as if to say, who could be more competitive without saying anything really. They had a fight because all of his accusations. She threw on jeans and a black t - shirt. There was yelling and nastiness, that day in the foray, she said, 'You can't trust me, then you can't have me!" She stormed to the door and slammed it as she made her grand exit out. That loud display of "love" was the last time he saw her. 3 days later he received papers petitioning for a divorce that requested his signature numerous times. The official cause stated "irreconcilable differences". Boy, he sure had many of those, he thought looking back. Divorce was a long It was blatantly obvious that she had only married him because she was young and naive. He was too, but, the difference between them was that he was willing to do whatever it took to bridge their gap and patch things up with Kristina, Kristina knew what she wanted and had no tolerance for Brad's shortcomings. He seemed to disappoint her constantly at every turn or flick of the switch. Court Proceedings only added to the havoc, chaos and lines on his forehead. They were hard to understand for him as he had to have his lawyer translate everything for him with documentation, legal definitions and legalities. It was as though he was giving himself a mental workout and it was kicking his butt. The legal proceedings were brutal and he felt that the lengthy procedure lasted too long and was time consuming only adding grief and hassle to Brad's life. He felt that there were many alternatives besides the drastic measure of divorce and it was possible to fix things with the right measures. But, alas, it takes to two to tango, and she certainly didn't want to tango. Even now Brad got migraines just thinking about it. He also had become defenseless against strong or bright colors and noises. He had sensitivity towards the bright colors that burned and scared his eyes and mind. He wondered to himself how things might have been different, what life might have been like, what they're unborn children might have looked like, who they would have resembled the most. The common characteristics that they would have had akin to his mom and pops. Brad drummed his fingers on the table, clackity clack, clackity clack, over and over... A bored man's drum kit, simply put involves only his fingers and a hard surface. He thought back on that list he made that one Summer's day while he happened to be stuck in the office. He called the list "Novelties and Such" it involved everything to keep an active bored-ian from reaching the center of town, from procrastinating too much, from alleviating from his job. He got up to a list of 110. He had written everything from how to make paperclip necklaces to paper Mache statues, to making a fort out of your cubicle, keep out signs roping off your cubicle from other coworkers using colorful paperclips that made a chain link fence too if done right. He wrote how to host an office party in his little white cubicle and how to dress it up holiday style, how to annoy coworkers, and do pranks to his office mates without getting caught, how to send annoying yet convenient emails to his coworkers through their company email system, how to bug his mates by not “hacking” into their computers, but, messing with their heads just a little. Computer pranks that led the people in his office to near self destruction, irritated break down mode, adding “scenery” to their computers, like hello kitty, Britney Spears, Scooby doo, Teletubbies, Bananas In Pajamas or anything that particularly annoyed that person. The self destruct one was complicated however as you had to have access to an unlocked computer. The steps, he had to recount as he was going over the list. Step one, Pull the keyboard cord out of the back of the computer and then move on from there. As above, then do the same thing again but, with the mouse cord. Transition to causing more havoc and move on to more sinister technical difficulties. Turn down the monitor contrast until it's completely black (they'll think the monitor's broken) Then swap keys around on the keyboard monitor. Relish in joy as you see your partner approach from down the hall, rub hands together and giggle sinsterly as they approach their desk, pretend like you are oblivious. Watch the horror on his face as his computer monitor is black. That was his favorite prank that he had pulled in the office. Conveniently to the guy in the cubicle next to him J. The guy was understandably irritated at the fact that he was inconvienced and his day was anything but, ordinary. because he thought his computer was on the fritz, but really, he was fussing over absolutly nothing. Hehe.. Brad had laughed hysterically, and almost blew his cover, but fortunatly was able to put a clip from you tube and family guy on in just in the nick of time as his pafrtner came strolling over to his side of the cubicle, disgruntled and grumpy. Another prank he so loved very much was the one where his computer kept crashing and the author thought that she would be cute by typing out her frustrations into this novel and using up word count by disguising it as a prank involving Brad, her clever character that was going through his own the psycological hell. Because near the end they were both losing it. Brad in his dimly lit room, the author in hers. Both in pain, both in emotional trauma surrounded by mysteries and skeletons. The interesting thing about this is that Brad enjoyed had now entered into a state of dillusion, his mind now a distant part of his past, floating elsewhere. He stared blankly across the room at the light wolored, glossy shine of the wooden door. The silver handle standing alone glistened lightly, beckoning him to turn it. He tilted his head back in frustration, almost giving up, he knew that time was against him yet he refused to give up. he wanted so much to be done, Done with it all, He wanted to run from himself, his life, and everything with it, he knew that in the next week he was going to start having to k=make changes or else it was going to be against him, the world that is. Brad started rambling and in fact thinking incoherently as pictures of his life started flashing before his eyes like a pack of cards being shuffled. He wondered if he should take his own life, he sat there and thought as he looked up, his eyes rolled back into their sockets, all he saw in his mind's eye was just pitch back, as if nothing else existed. acconsionally the slides had lessoned and that is how he was able to push them away with all his mental night.Unfortunatly, he began having trouble as random pictures came into his mental reality, the picture of the black porsehe that he had owned before he met Kristina, the status he had, the economic standing and wealth, and the suits he wore everyday as he got dressed. He could still rememver the feeling of the crisp white, silk shirt he carefully put on, or the black pants that were taken care of with tenderness, skill, and precision as he ironed the crease onto the side as did the military he had considered joining at age 17 and the rejection and humiliation he faced after he had strived so hard to apply for the Marine Corps. The day he struggled to take his written exam and then missed by 2 answers, the recruiter took pity on him as he was allowed to redo it. He passed but, by the recruiters grace and hair of a dog. he then went on to do an entire training course, that was the physical test followed by a long series of physical training or calistenics. Pushups, sit-ups, up downs, suicides, running at least four miles, scaling a wall while being timed. He remembered the intense feeling of testerone and endorphins he got as he pressed his heavy set body to the ground, low he thought, too low, as he went doen "UP!" "Down!" Up!!" Down" What Mcwallis!!! You having problems you little girl! You gonna cry to your momma now wally?/ They yelled at him! "DOWN. DOWN, DOWN!!!" "ONe, two, one ONE TWO ONE TWO. the drill instucters said clear and vibrant as if theye're voices could travel on for miles and miles, and without a doubt as he hoisted his sorry heavyset, piece of 18 year old chuck up, he did not doubt it, not for a minute. They were taught one very memorable thing while he went to MCRD, Marine Corps Recruit Depot or boot camp for short in San Diego. There was only one thing louder then a drill instuctor and that was the planes that were flying low above there heads or taking off on an hourly basis. The planes that took off from the San Diego International Airport which was only separated by a silver, decaying chain link fence with holes in it if you looked close enough and were successfully able to make it to the end of the perimeter separating his hell from freedom and travels. The Marines who went to boot in San Diego were commonly known as Hollywood Marines because they were supposedly treated better, the weather was better, and the view of the bay was spectaculer, they did not have to deal with bugs, humidity, there were no girls as distractions 100 feet away from them, the instructors were not notortious for beating them, them and the instructors did not enforce the rules as stringent and mean as the instructiors were back East in South Carolina on that island of hell, the doom of swampiness, the feeling of being rushed, the intensity. But they did know one thing. They were tortured very much by the illusion they had been getting that they were going to travel soon, everytime, they were outside which was pretty much all th time one of them could not helop but bitch about how nice the weather was or how they would love to be anywhere else right now or their hometowns that seemed to be everywhere, Wisconsion, Washington, Oregan, Nevada, Idaho, Kansas, Nebraska, Colorado, Mexico, Arizona, Oklahoma. He'd been in boot so long it felt like, he'd heard it all, he knew more geography being housed and having a scedule with these many fellows then he had learned in all his life as it was. He knew cities that many didn't even knew exsited, nor did his friends or family, but, never the less it was still quite exciting, hearing about almost non existant little towns, in country towns with cows, and dairy queens, love and life, Family and towns with such a small population that the entire towns wished these fellows good luck as they left for their travels,m and many first time moving out of their houses much less their hometowns that they had lived in their whole lives. They saw them off and waved goodbye at the crack of dawn, as the white buses pulled away filled with young teens who had basically just signed a contract which signed their life away to the Corp. They were fresh meat, their ass was grass, and they were now legal property belonging to the U.S government. They had packed thaier asses up for one hell of an interesting 3 1/2 months. That sure was an interesting time, one that he still remembered several years later. One that he would never forget. He breathed in a sharp intake of breath as he continued on, he remembered the beautiful, tailered black jacket that was the topping piece to his suit, the cherry to his ice cream, the icing on the cake and almost forgetting, He remembered his trademark, his slicked back and neatly combed hair that fell to the side, giving him the appearence of Carey Grant, ammacutloy groomed and ready for success. Just more to his appeaernce and style then he cared to admit, he was a classic man, with interestin needs and an interestinway of looking at things.The helpless feeling he had, it was all just a dream. He woke up in his cream colored bed, in his dark blue firemans shirt and shorts.He looked to his left and saw his sleeping wife. He breathed a sigh of relief, as he looked around him, it was apparent that it was dark, so he looked at the clock.Must be early morning he thought. The clock, ever faithful shined a neon green 5:30. As he sat up in bed he closed his eyes, slowly opening them again, just to make sure, and then once more to to reassure that he was home.He rubbed his eyes and silently got up.He walked to the window and slightly drawing open the curtains. Brad looked out at the expansive view of the city, a peaceful calmness overwhelmed him as he looked upon the peaceful night and the bright orange and yellow lights from the city and buildings that alluminated the black sky. It took his breathe away. As the familar chill of the city breeze brushed against his arm. Hmm... Just like Mammoth...As he drifted off into memmories of a life he was sure he knew. Just like old times,he thought.. Could it have really just been a dream?
An alarm goes off on the brown wicker table next to his bed. It is 7:00 AM, as a loud beep!, beep!, beep! goes off. Brad Davidson swings his legs over the side of the bed. His bare feet touch the floor with a thud. Yawning loudly, Brad, clothed in dark blue shorts and a fireman's blue shirt sleepily gets up, turns off the alarm clock and glances down at his charging blue and black phone, no messages. He walks into the bathroom slowly dragging his feet. As he looks in the mirror, still groggy from sleep, Brad yawns a big, long yawn… he rubs at the dark scruff, and looks at the five O'Clock shadow on his tired looking face and examines his baggy eyes that he aquired from too many late nights. He looks at his silver and black Rolex, unclips it and sets it on the counter. He opens his off white glass shower and turns the nossel all the way to the right. He gets undressed, making sure to carefully fold his clothes, setting them on the edge of the bath. Then Brad hops in the shower as his wife is just waking up. She stretches in their cream colored bed sheets. She is well rested and after stretching, she gets out of bed with a smile. She runs her hand through her pretty new haircut. Classic blond bob with light brown highlights. She is wearing black cropped pants and her tight gray shirt shows her lean and toned body that she spent so long on. She touches the glistening pearl on the gold chain on her neck as she walks down the hall checking on Emma and Caroline.
Meanwhile, Brad gets out of the shower, puts on a crisp dark blue suit and opens his neat and tidy drawer full of carefully folded colored ties. He picks out a red one, smooths his dark brown hair back and looks at himself in the mirror. Immaculate and ready to succeed. "Perfect" he thinks to himself, "Just the way I like it." He meets his wife and kids at the breakfast table, drinks a glass of orange juice, and grabs a piece of toast. "Good Morning Emma and Caroline! Sleep well?" says Brad "Morning" he says to his wife with a smirk and wink as he gives her a kiss. "Gotta go, have a good day Sweetie!" He says before kissing Caroline on the head. As he walks outside he puts on his dark reflective sunglasses, and climbs into his black Cayman S Porsche Edition 1. "Well, another day at work, lets see what the day has in store for me today!" He laughs as he realizes the cheesy saying at which he just said to himself, starts up the car and heads down the 405 get to his office in Beverly Hills. He speeds down the dark streets smoothly and with precision, taking side streets, avoiding the 405 as much as possible. Brad Davidson is the epitome of class and perfection. He is high class. He finally gets to the last turn off and heads through the last stretch of traffic arriving at the office. He begins his day, like usual he wallks to his desk. Hmm... maybe I'll write a book on what to do when your bored, he thinks as he leans back in his black, leather chair.
